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Boogeyman (2005)

Director: Stephen T. Kay
Starring: Barry Watson, Emily Deschanel, Lucy Lawless
Rated PG-13 Running time: 89 minutes

Tim (Barry Watson) is a successful magazine editor with a paralyzing fear of closets and darkened rooms because some kind of supernatural killer ghost/goblin thingamajig made his father disappear fifteen years earlier. Receiving word that his mother (Lucy Lawless in ghoul makeup) has died, Tim returns to his hometown to settle her affairs. His childhood shrink convinces him that the best way to conquer his fears is to spend the night in the house his father was attacked in. Tim follows the doctors orders - which was a very fortunate turn of events for the film's screenwriters. The next hour or more consists of Tim wandering around in the dark, opening doors, closing doors, giving puzzled/frightened facial expressions, and reacting to loud noises on the film's soundtrack. A computer generated "boogeyman" shows up, and Tim defeats him without too much trouble.

isn't so much a movie as it is a series of eardrum-rattling bangs and clangs, droning shrieks, halfhearted emoting, and a preponderance of footage edited together in the most seizure-inducing manner possible. In short, it is exactly like every other film that Hollywood likes to call "horror" these days. Director Stephen Kay works hard to ensure the film manages to be both boring and irritating, and that the characters are as bland and uninteresting as possible. Who needs a coherent, engaging screenplay when you've got an arsenal of modern horror techniques at your disposal? Boogeyman manages to be nerve-rattling, alright, but for all the wrong reasons.

2 out of 5

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