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Pumpkin Karver (2006)

Director: Robert Mann
Starring: Amy Weber, Michael Zara, Minka Kelly, Mistie Adams
Rated R Running time: 90 minutes.
Released by First Look Pictures

Every fall, a couple of Halloween-oriented horror flicks hit the shelves. The vast majority of them suck. 2006's entry into the seasonal-slasher genre, Pumpkin Karver, is no exception. Why is it spelled with a "k"? I don't know . . . why did they put a juggalo on the cover? Pandering to the illiterate teenage arsonist market aside, Pumpkin Karver is the same movie you've seen hundreds of times before. A troubled teenager and his smoking-hot older sister (Minka Kelly) are sitting at home one Halloween, getting ready for the evening's festivities. A prank performed by the sister's idiot boyfriend ends with her brother using his pumpkin carving knife to ventilate the A-hole boyfriend. Some time later, the siblings pick up and start over in a new town. Some local teens decide to throw a Halloween party in a pumpkin patch, and wouldn't you know it, a batch of obnoxious characters start getting offed in some not-very-impressive ways. The siblings ultimately confront the killer, and the whole thing comes to an improbable end.

Lots of eye-candy actresses and some decent photography are about all this one's got going for it. There are a few decent gore set-pieces ( a pumpkin carved face, a guy peeing on his very own head following a decapitation, etc.), but not enough of them to break the monotony. No nudity either, especially shocking given the sluttiness of several of the female characters. Director Robert Mann, if IMDB can be trusted, appeared in 1972's Sometimes Aunt Martha Does Dreadful Things. If this is true, I will give Pumpkin Karver two stars for that association. And that's about it.

2 out of 5.

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