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Drive-Thru (2007)

Director: Brendan Cowles, Shane Kuhn
Starring: Leighton Meester, Nick D'Agosto, Rachael Bella, Lola Glaudini, Melora Hardin
Rated R Running time: 83 minutes
Released by Lions Gate

Damn Ouija boards. Mackenzie Carpenter and her horny boyfriend, Fisher Kent, (Leighton Meester and Nick D'Agosto from Inside) had pretty good lives before they messed around with the unknown. Wealthy families, lots of friends, and Mackenzie even had her very own rock band. But playing around with the unknown has never paid off well for movie teens, and Cameron starts getting weird messages which seem to relate to a series of murders occurring in their town. A killer fast food mascot named Horny the Clown is out slicing and dicing area teens, and Cameron's dalliance with the forces of darkness has attracted his attention. Her friends start getting offed in a variety of unimpressive ways, and Cameron's mother seems to know more about Horny than she will let on. Could it be that Cameron's mother was involved with a prank gone wrong years earlier that killed Horny the Clown and now someone or something is seeking revenge against the children of the pranksters? Probably.

This is a truly awful film which attempts to balance horror with comedy and fails miserably at both. Horny the Clown looks like a rejected prop from the Kiss Psycho Circus tour, and is neither funny nor scary. In fact, the whole fast food killer gimmick is really only a ploy to distract viewers from the fact that Drive-Thru is a blatant rip-off of Nightmare on Elm Street, albeit one mixed with too many lame attempts at humor. For example, the pair of detectives investigating the murders are named Chase and Crocker - which gets them called Cheese and Crackers at one point. Har har. Rachel Bella (Jimmy & Judy) almost looks embarrassed to be in this thing. Despite the fact that Drive-Thru was already painfully unfunny and about as far from frightening as you can possibly get, the makers (yes, it took two guys to write and direct this stinker) decided to infuse the film with some sort of weird political commentary. I don't really get what they were trying to say, but because of this decision they can add "pretentious" to the list of adjectives one could use to describe this atrocity. For a film that asks an audience not to think about things too much, then turn around and have the audience things about things which have nothing to do with the film is a pretty telling sign that your movie is crap.

1 out of 5. 

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