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Ninja Cheerleaders (2008)

Director: David Presley
Starring: Trishelle Canatella, Ginny Weirick, Maitland McConnell, George Takei, Michael Pare, Natasha Chang
Rated R Running time: 93 minutes
Released by Peace Arch Entertainment

Obnoxious direct-to-video stinker that isn't nearly as cute or clever as it thinks it is. Three junior college cheerleaders who moonlight as strippers and cheerleaders spring into action when their boss/sensei (George Takei) is kidnapped by a mobster (Michael Pare). Lame jokes, fully clothed strip club sequences, and action scenes that make Gymkata look like Five Fingers of Death follow. George Takei seems to have some fun with the handful of scenes he is in, while Pare appears to be wondering just where the hell did his career go so wrong. It seems nearly impossible to believe that a film about cheerleader/ninja/strippers could actually suck, but Ninja Cheerleaders has absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Not funny enough to work as a comedy, too ridiculous and poorly executed to work as an action flick, and way too tasteful to deliver in the sex and violence department. In fact, it appears that someone decided to insert some very silly "booby" shots as scene transitions because they sensed that Ninja Cheerleaders needed something, anything, to break the monotony.

I'm going to do the readers a big favor and post a couple of the film's cheesecake shots in order to satisfy your prurient desires and keep you from renting this lifeblood sucking bore.


You're welcome.