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Sub Zero (2005)

Director: Jim Wynorski
Starring: Costas Mandylor, Nia Peeples, Jacqueline Samuda, Linden Ashby
Rated PG-13 Running time: 90 minutes
Released by Lionsgate

Goofy action/adventure flick from Jim Wynorski built off the Cliffhanger/Vertical Limit template. Terrorists steal an EMP device (which looks like a Rubik's Cube) that can trigger catastrophic satellite attacks from a top secret facility deep in the Himalayan mountains. While making their escape, the terrorists' plane is shot down, and the doomsday cube falls somewhere near the summit of K2.

Enter John Deckert (Costas Mandylor), a badass mountaineer who hangs up his climbing equipment after a tragic accident takes the life of one of his friends. His retirement is shortlived, however, because Uncle Sam comes a callin' and informs Decker that if he can't climb to the top of K2 and retrieve the aforementioned device the world will be in danger of being destroyed by terrorists. Now that's motivation! Decker reassembles his crack team of climbers and sets out to battle the enormous K2, as well as terrorists and other assorted punks with nefarious plans.

If you've ever seen a Jim Wynorski film, then you already know what you can expect - one-dimensional characters, ludicrous story lines, and silly dialogue all executed with deadpan delivery and a light tone that makes it clear that none of this is meant to be taken all that seriously. All those elements are present in Sub Zero, though this time around it isn't as much fun. From the generic score to the lifeless action scenes, this feels like something that was concocted just to fill shelf space. The PG-13 rating doesn't help matters. This film would have benefited greatly from a few exploding heads.

The best things here are Mandylor (who would make a solid action hero if he can find his way into better material) and the craptastic CGI effects. In fact, I recommend this movie only so that you check out the film's conclusion, which features a parachute scene that you'll have to see to believe.

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