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The Ironbound Vampire (1997)

Director: Karl Petry
Starring: Richard Matyskiel, Deana Enoches, Suzanne Lenore, Dennis Drenth, Conrad Brooks, Delores Fuller
Not rated 59 min

Seeing the name "Conrad Brooks" in the credits should tell you all you need to know. THE IRONBOUND VAMPIRE is an ultra-low budget, shot-on-video movie filmed in beautiful Newark, New Jersey. The confusing plot seems to deal with a World War I vet who has turned into a vampire and is killing people in modern day Newark. I lost the ability to follow what was going on about fifteen minutes in. Ed Wood regular Conrad Brooks (PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE) and John Link (from the spectacular LORD OF THE G-STRINGS) play the vampire's henchmen. Another Wood vet, Dolores Fuller (BRIDE OF THE MONSTER), has a bit part in a party scene. At times, it's difficult to tell if this is supposed to be a comedy or a horror film. In the end, it's neither. In fact, the only thing that distinguishes this from a home video is the terrible acting. IMDB states that this movie was originally in color, but the version I watched (off a Mill Creek set) was in black-and-white, which probably helped blunt the chintziness of it all.

While THE IRONBOUND VAMPIRE is pretty bad, it's not as awful as THE CURSE OF LA LLORONA. Do yourself a favor and skip both of them.  Only watch this if you want to see what New Jersey people looked like in the 90's.

Conrad Brooks and John Link in THE IRONBOUND VAMPIRE

Richard Matyskiel transforms into THE IRONBOUND VAMPIRE

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