Director: Robert Englund
Starring: Stephen Geoffreys, Patrick O'Bryan, Sandy Dennis, Lezley Deane
Rated R
With the NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET
franchise at the height of its popularity, Robert England (SLASHED
DREAMS; EATEN ALIVE) was able to parlay his success as wise-cracking,
child-murdering Freddy Kruger into a directing gig for New Line
Cinema. The result was this mostly forgettable 80's cheesefest that
plays like Freddy lite.
Stephen Geofferies (FRIGHT NIGHT) stars
as a character named Hoax (Why? Who knows....). He's a nerdy little
dude who is being bullied by a group of not-very-scary jerks at
school. He doesn't find any comfort at home, where he lives with his
loony, religious nut Aunt (Sandy Dennis) and a horde of cats. The
only people who are nice to him are his cousin and protector, Spike,
and Spike's girlfriend (Lezley Dean). Hoax's world changes for the
better when he starts calling a 976 number that gives unusally
prescient horoscopes. He becomes obsessed with calling the number,
and soon begins to acquire supernatural powers. Hoax seeks revenge
against his tormentors, and a large pit that leads to hell appears in
his backyard. Spike and Lezley must act to save Hoax from the force
on the other end of the phone: the devil himself.
976-EVIL is representative of the kind
of watered down and thoroughly sanitized horror that began rearing
its ugly head in the late 80's. It was a great decade that featured
some truly incredible and ballsy movies (RE-ANIMATOR, STREET TRASH,
MANIAC, and NEKROMANTIK, among others), but one that ended on a sad
note. With MPAA pressure to deliver “R” ratings, coupled with the
financial success of the mega-franchises like HALLOWEEN, FRIDAY THE
13th, and the aforementioned NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET
series, the major studios took safe route by rehashing the same
formula over and over, but a little weaker each time. Huge
multiplexes began crowding out the smaller independent theaters,
which meant that smaller, edgier, and more interesting films went
unseen, while expensive, quickly produced studio dreck flooded every
venue in America. In time, home video would become the great
equalizer, but before that happened, what began passing for
mainstream “horror” was fluffy, sterile, and hopelessly dull.
Robert England's first directorial
effort has all of those unfortunate characteristics. It's not scary
(nor does it attempt to be), it has a killer that always has a
one-liner at the ready, it relies on special effects (by the great
Kevin Yagher), and is devoid of gore, sex, or anything fun at all.
The most notable aspect of the movie is the completely whacked-out
performace of Sandy Dennis as the loony Aunt. Wearing an atrocious
wig and staggering around like a mental patient, Dennis gives a
performance that is more fun than anything else in the movie. Aside
from her, there's little of interest here. The story, which comes off
like a less entertaining rehash of EVILSPEAK, is really nothing more
than a device to showcase a few effects set-pieces, accompanied by
cringeworthy jokes from the very annoying Geoffries. It isn't a bad
movie. The problem is it isn't much of anything at all.
You get the sense that New Line was
hoping 976-EVIL would be the beginning of a new franchise they could
milk for another decade. It was not to be, though a sequel, 976-EVIL
2 (directed by Jim Wynorski), appeared on video store shelves a few
years later. Meanwhile, Stephen Geoffries went on to a rewarding
career in the gay porn industry, and Robert Englund's career as a
director stalled out shortly thereafter. He would re-emerge with
2007's execrable KILLER PAD, a movie that made 976-EVIL look a whole
lot better.
